so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The Olympian is in my bed
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