Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
