My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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