Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
