you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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