He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
