I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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