i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
