I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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