just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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