Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
