We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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