I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
