I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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