The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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