I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
