Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
