sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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