the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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