Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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