I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize