BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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