just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
