imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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