There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
