They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
