I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
