Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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