Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
