Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
