It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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