Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
