I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
