btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
