Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
