so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
