I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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