i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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