You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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