I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
PANTIES FOUND
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