Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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