She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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