so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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