i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
