I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize