Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
