I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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