I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
