Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
