Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
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