Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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