I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
