this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
