maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm eating all of the evidence.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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