I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
