Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
