My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
