Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
