I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
