before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
