I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
