Will you blow on my dice?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's official drugs can't kill me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
