So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
