just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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