Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
